If you want evidence to back up my headline, then feast your eyes on this footage of Robbie Keane, from Soccer AM’s Third Eye section, as our intrepid captain struggles to open a bottle.

As a bonus, there is also footage of Sky Sports News anchorman Sam Matterface wiping some muck off his top lip and sneaking a cheeky glimpse at Georgie Thompson’s tits.

By the way, I don’t think much of Hells Bells’ new hairstyle.



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