Football supporters are hopeless romantics. I’m not suggesting for a second that you all return home from a hard days hunting and gathering with freshly cut flowers under your arms for the trouble – that would be asking too much. No, I use the term ‘romantic’ to describe your undying love for a lost cause; your football club. For, like a beautiful but flighty date, they promise so much and yet often deliver so little. And still we love them…suckers huh?

And nowhere is this hopeless romanticism more apparent than in our love of the FA Cup . We know that neither Millwall nor Portsmouth is ever going to take the Premier League title race to the final day of the season, but in a one-off game, over ninety or a hundred and twenty minutes, to quote Gabriel – dreams can come true.

Sunday’s semi is a veritable David and Goliath clash, containing more sub-plots than an episode of ‘The Wire’. Harry gets the rap for Pompey’s ruinous financial straits (having already abandoned them once for their South Coast nemesis) and then has the temerity to poach the pick of the coaching staff, leaving behind a slightly deranged ex-Gooner to steady the sinking vessel (to use a seafaring analogy, since it’s Pompey).

Not content with removing an entire level of management, we then begin a calculated period of asset-stripping that Rupert Murdoch would be proud of. Defoe, Crouch, Kranjcar and Kaboul all follow the ‘big boss’ to the north side of London. In the meantime, Portsmouth bleeds money faster than a drug soldier that’s taken one in the head with a Glock semi-automatic. To add insult to the numerous injuries Pompey have, the league dock them nine points, guaranteeing relegation. Forget ‘The Wire’; this is Shakespearian in the scale and manner of its tragedy. Or maybe ‘Four Gaffers and a Brothel’ is a more suitable epitaph for the Portsmouth season?

It’s against this backdrop that we take on a Portsmouth side with little to play for except wounded pride. Add several Tottenham rejects into the mix and the stage is set fair for an upset of epic proportions.

If we were taking on say, Chelsea, with their nouveau riche vulgarities, the wider footballing fraternity (outside of N1) would have cheered us to the rafters. The fact we are up against ‘poor old Pompey’ means we are on our own with this one. You only have to read the message boards to gauge the way fans are thinking; the cup of kindness isn’t exactly overflowing as far as Spurs are concerned. This is an FA Cup semi-final as scripted by Frank Capra; Bedford Falls versus Pottersville.

Of course, the British public loves an underdog; we just don’t get that American thang of admiring people for working hard and achieving their goals – especially if they aren’t decked out in sack cloth and ashes. So no matter how much of Portsmouth’s current malaise is down to piss poor management, well you’ve just gotta love ‘em, haven’t you? Well, no, not really.

Personally, I’m a bit fed up with the ‘poor little me’ pose of both Pompey fans and players. It didn’t take a financial wizard like George Soros to calculate that the squad amassed under Redknapp was unsustainable on paltry gates of 18,000. The story of Portsmouth is a microcosm of the Las Vegas style gambling mentality which gripped global markets in the noughties. Turning a blind eye to your financial problems is one thing, gouging your peepers out is quite another.

Was winning the FA Cup really worth several years toiling in the lower reaches of the football league for, because I can’t see an instant yo-yo effect taking place on the South Coast – rather the opposite, with a real possibility of Pompey dropping even further down the pecking order. Maybe a day in the sun this Sunday will make all the heartache and folly of the past few years seem worth it. Somehow I doubt it.

As far as Spurs are concerned though, whether we thrash an injury-ravaged, financially ruined club heading south, or are the victims of a cup shock on a par with the 3-2 defeat by Coventry, we really can’t win either way…

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22 COMMENTS

    • We should win comfortably – I was just trying to make the point that it if we win, it’s expected, if we lose, well we lose and most neutrals would be happy.

  1. Not a pointless article- though your’s is a pointless comment. He is behind the club- the article is no way makes out he isn’t. He’s just making a fair observation. We’re pretty used to being the underdogs in this kind of situation and it is interesting to see the tables turned. Let’s hope we can put all the subplots out of ours heads and just go out there and worry about playing our own game and making our quality show. If we do- we win. COYS

  2. You’re saying “we can’t win”, but as long as we do a professional job in despatching Pompey without over-extending ourselves, we can go into the tricky midweek NLD, fresh, no further injuries and with our “tails up”. That would seem like a win to me! COYS

  3. …. and yes. Beating an underdog won’t win us any friends, but when have we ever gone looking for friends? If we can win a final and get CL however, we might get a few more admirers!

  4. FUCKEM ALL UNITED WEST HAM LIVERPOOL COS WE ARE THE TOTTENHAM AND WE ARE THE BEST WE ARE THE TOTTENHAM SO FUCK ALL REST…………… COME ON YOU LOVELY SPURS!!!!!! xx

  5. Oh, for the love of God! It amazes me the number of Spurs fans there are that cannot – or simply refuse – to see the woods for the trees! Surely people who are intelligent enough to follow Spurs should have the wherewithal to see beyond the words on the page to the actual MEANING!

    ‘Get behind the club’, Mr. Knackers? The article writer IS behind the club, if you just took a moment to think about what has been written. It bemoans the fact that we are unfairly being viewed as some sort of marauding giant intent on screwing over Pompey. As if we are supposed to feel sorry for them because they are having difficulties. There are people out there thinking that Portsmouth deserve to win because they are a small club in difficulty. What right have they to feel that way? And this article articulates OUR feelings about this perception.

    Mr 67, you too have failed to see the point. You are a Spurs fan, so of course a win will seem like a… well, win, I suppose. Mr Green’s article is about non-Spurs and non-Portsmouth fans. Yes, you are right that success in the FA Cup and, to a greater extent finishing fourth, will win us some admirers, it is a sad fact that whatever the result on Sunday, we won’t be viewed with much affection. If we win, people will say it was to have been expected and if we lose, they will say that we got what we deserved.

    Paul, yours was an excellent, well-reasoned and intertesting article!

    • Yes I did see the point of the article, but winning over neutrals is not a concern of mine for Sunday. If we play the game in a professional way, we will undoubtably progress to the final where, chances are, we will again be underdogs to Chelsea. That will be our opportunity to win over the neutrals!

  6. Gooner here…. Nevertheless I’ll bet you’re all looking forward to qualifying for champions league football next year 😉

    Interesting analysis Mr Green. A sort of reverse on a reverse psychology I posit?

    Either way, yes, tough cheese, I completely agree. Given the imbalance of the tie plus the recent history of both teams (I’ll bet there are number of squad players who will have to remind themselves, once again, what team it is they actually play for this time), you’re doomed to lose on Sunday!

  7. You are right we will be on a loser if we win but we are in a season of shocks drug cheats , or should i make that team drug cheats. Players making remarkable injury recovery’s Like Rooney 8 days from looking like bambi to playing and scoring .Bobby bashed is shoulder Zamora 3 weeks after a dislocated shoulder all in record time a few weeks after is was said on the main news players are using steroids to help heal injury’s quicker well we fuckin aint . And Sunderland who should have beaten Spurs 5-1 this game is like having a fight with seventeen players on death row and Desperate to kill .Remember this last year Sheffields goal keeper failed a drugs test against Preston in the semi final they lost one nil he played is part in stopping Sheffield he was later exonerated from cheating because he bought a cold remedy from a chemist with Ephedrine the very stuff that two players we are facing ex team where taking two years ago and was documented by Uk sport so don’t think it will be easy and this is why i will campaign till the game is over to make sure i no if they are using this particular drug . So if you see players running full pelt after the ball and stopping Spurs from moving an inch without drawing breath we are knackered just like Wunderland played in fifth gear against us and 2nd at Liverpool. By the way the two players are F+J thats all i can say lets hope i am a million miles from the truth and there is no Mutues.

  8. Portsmouth have the power of the fairytale on their side, and we should underestimate that at our peril. I’m praying our players don’t take to the pitch with thoughts of the final buzzing around their heads because, as long-time followers of football will know, the power of the fairytale has a massive influence on football matches for some unknown reason. COYS! Take us to Wembley (twice) ‘Arry!

  9. Fuck me i though my rant on energy drugs was bad but fairy’s ,why haven’t you told us earlier me and Therumourman thought it was Ephedrine . We have wasted all those blogs took all the abuse of our own fans and its fucking Fairy’s thats making teams run run chase block shock lose weight nearly faint clutching there chest in front of millions .We should win then if PETER PAN PLAYS CROUCHY HAHAHHAH.COYS 4-1

  10. Reply to Davspurs,
    Thank god I only drink beer and have had a good education, and for God’s sake for once in your life please spell MODRIC not fucking MODERIC, go and get educated somewhere in Afghanistan, join the army or something or go and follow the gooners anything, anything…please, please, please.
    COYS!!!

  11. Fact is Pompey should be kicked out of competition. They were deducted 9 points by PL as they entered administration. As soon as they entered administration they should have been kicked out of all knock out competitions and the last team they played should have continued in their place. How unfair is it that teams at bottom of Premiership are given an advantage by Pompey getting points deduction, yet in Cup competitions they are not awarded any handicap!

  12. A dialogue of clichéd puns and metaphors with very little substance. The point it tried to make is so bleedin’ obvious it was a waste of time getting the thesaurus out.

  13. ONCE AGAIN IM VEXT AGAIN/MICROPHONES GETTIN WRECKED AGAIN/SEX YA NEXT TA KIN/SMOKIN WEED/GO AND GET THEM SKINZ/REMEMBER DEM SKINZ/WHAT SKINZ/DA SKINZ OF ANTONY HOPKINZ/I CHOP TWINZ/AND CHOP MEN/CHOP TEN OFF DA TOP TEN/IN TOTTNEM/WITH A MAC TEN/IVE GOT DEM/I SPOT MEN/WITH DA INFARED MAKE DA DOT SPIN/IM BOXED IN/MAKIN MORE NOISE THAN SIRCOCKSIN/AMPLIFIED WATTZ WHEN/DA ACID AND DA TOXSINS/AS DA CLOCK SPINZ/MY GLOCK COCKZ AND DROPZ MEN/ROCKZ MEN/ HIT EM UP LIKE PRINCE AMEED WHEN HES BOXIN…

  14. OSSIE VANNILA FACE you may drink beer but i can still see you must be pissed all the time if you cant see modders is not in my Blog. And if my blog was full of fullstop semi colons 66 99 would you believe its contents, the answer is no so fuck of . If you where looking after our team then Sunderlands 5-1 score thats what is should have bean would happen every week . And don’t insult me about Supporting the Chemist team Arsoles ,they have like your good Educated self have a history of piss artist and drug users Adams Merson. Its a pity you only drink because if you had educated your good self you would be able to see past your pissed eyes and all the sudden deaths last year and by the way Nani had a virus and was not taking false Energy. you will be telling me next Booby Zamora ex boo boy is good enough for England . WAKE up Ossie Vanila we have moved on from the odd coke head and its stezzers and Efe ARE GOOD? .Yours forever ex Taliban teacher DAVSPURS HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAGREAAATSSSSSSSSSSPPURRRS 444444444———1 GLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYY

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