One of the major problems with television drama is that the characters don’t talk about football as much as people do in real life.

You might occasionally see Minty from Eastenders with a West Ham scarf around his neck, but you don’t see him and Billy Mitchell getting pissed, while debating how rubbish their defence is. I guess they don’t want to make the characters in Eastenders any more depressed than they already are.

I feel that screenwriters are missing a trick by not making their characters more interested in football. Forget long-winded character development and just use football supporter shorthand. If I see someone wearing a Manchester City shirt, then I know that they’re probably a long suffering, slightly depressive bloke, who somehow still manages to keep a sense of humour about things.

The same could also be said about someone wearing a Spurs shirt and occasionally writers will use the shorthand of making a character a Tottenham fan, just so that we understand how mentally scarred they really are.

Here are 6 fictional Spurs fans. I’m sure you’ll let me know who I’ve missed out.

6. Brian Bangs

Brian Bangs is a character from Notes On A Scandal played by Phil Davis. In one scene he arrives at Judi Dench’s house having spent the afternoon at White Hart Lane, wearing a Spurs scarf and baseball cap. He is in a triumphant mood, having witnessed a Spurs win, as he explains:

“3-0. Jermain Defoe. Get in there!”

Brian is meant to be a sad and slightly pathetic character, but then the story is told from the perspective of bitter old Dench, who may secretly be an Arsenal supporter.

5. Martin Fowler

The problem with casting children in roles is that they may well grow up to be a rubbish actor (see original Nicky Tilsley from Coronation Street for evidence). So quite often they recast when the actor reaches his teens and take the opportunity to flesh out the character a little.

When the all new Martin Fowler first appeared Eastenders, many Spurs fans choked on their dinner as we saw his bedroom wall plastered with Tottenham posters.

It must have been a challenging role for the actor James Alexandrou, who is a real life Gooner. Personally, if I were an actor and offered a role that involved me supporting the Scum, I’d decline the part and then sack my agent.

4. Gilbert The Alien

As a youngster that watched that grew up watching the ITV Saturday morning show Get Fresh, I was fascinated and slightly bemused by the fact that Gilbert the Alien was a fellow Spurs fan.

These days of course, I now realise that somewhere inside the green rubber suit of Gilbert, was the renowned Tottenham supporter Phil Cornwell, who today presents The Spurs Show.

Here’s some footage featuring Gaz Top’s awful mullet and if you notice, a Tottenham scarf hanging up behind Gilbert.

3. Gavin Shipman

The least funny character in Gavin And Stacey had one redeeming feature; he was a Spurs fan. This came about because the actor Matthew Horne is a real life Tottenham supporter and recommended that his character should be too.

Gavin was often seen in Tottenham attire and they even went to the extent of giving him a favourite player, with Stacey buying him a signed picture of Michael Dawson.

He can’t get to many games now though, considering that Gav and Stace eventually moved to Wales.

2. Danny Julia

Danny Julia is a fictional character in the beloved Channel 4 film Those Glory Glory Days. Clearly based on the experiences of the screenwriter Julie Welch, the film tells the story of a group of young schoolgirls, obsessed with Danny Blanchflower and the Spurs double side.

It seemed that this film was on roughly every 6 months when I was a lad and now you can replicate those halcyon days of four channels showing the same things over and over, by buying Those Glory Glory Days on DVD.

1. Clive

Derek and Clive were the foul mouthed creations of Peter Cook and Dudley Moore. The comic genius Cook was a Spurs fan and as this sketch demonstrates, so was Clive.

I should add as a note of caution that you really shouldn’t click on this video if you are offended by bad language.

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19 COMMENTS

  1. the loser character from “Notes on a Scandal” is an Arse supporter in the original book. i don’t know why they changed that in the movie.

  2. Graham Downs, the bed-ridden, dangerously obese, character who lives with his mum and exists on a diet of just Sugar Puffs, from Bellamy’s People. Has a Spurs poster on his door. Played by Paul Whitehouse, who is a Spurs fan of course.

    • MAttt horne has a season ticket in Nth Stand block 49 – sits along from me and me son.

      Norman Stanley Fletcher”…some of us watched Spurs win at home…”

      Coronations Street was at one time produced by a Spurs fan (can’t remember his name – but he had THFC sprayed on the viaduct wall

  5. Ben Porter (A.K.A) garly Olsen

    Hilarious episode of 2.4 children (BBC) where Spurs were fighting relegation. Cos spurs won a game, the whole family had to repeat things Saturday after Saturday to keep the winnig run going….Iknow the feeling…

  6. i have one for you and i promise this is real, in the very early eighties i was watching Corrie, and Mike Baldwin and a fat bloke i think his name was Eddie a bin man, were talking football, Mike declared his love for Spurs and Eddie was slagging them for having to Argies playing for them, and Mike should support Man City, i wonder 20 odd years later what old Eddie would think now with the Arabs in charge and a team full of multi nationals.

    Billy

  7. There was another guy on Eastenders, can’t remember his name, he was played by the guy who is now on Hustle. I remember watching one episode and he was telling them all in the Queen Vic about Defoe and how great Spurs were, pretty sure they were mocking us, but as West Ham fans I guess the joke is on them really..

  10. Ronnie Barker & Paul Whitehouse, already mentioned of coarse but both comedy legends in their own right!

    Mind you, I think that is almost a given if you a Spur!

  11. Mike Leigh’s Life is Sweet has Patsy drunkenly reciting the Double team. Wikipedi says “Patsy is a supporter of Tottenham Hotspur football club. According to Leigh this was a source of some discomfort to Stephen Rea who played the character, since Rea is a supporter of the team’s long-term rivals Arsenal.”

  12. One I’ve read which is both fictional & true is the “fashion designer” Ted Baker – there is no such person but the founder of the company, Ray Kelvin, is reputedly a keen Spurs fan.

  14. The family from Metal Mickey, a comedy from the Eighties, totally remember one episode when when spurs conceded a penalty (clemence in goal if my memory serves me right) and mickey who was a robot magically rewound time so he saved it. Classic

  15. jeff beck, on top of the pops,the edition before spurs v chavkski cup final 67. finished off “high ho silver lining” with a shout “up the spurs”

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