It’s been a long week for Harry Redknapp and the manager will no doubt be delighted to get back to football affairs as Spurs take on Watford at Vicarage Road tomorrow night. Reports today are confirming that Harry will be in the dugout and he will pick the team but who is available to choose from?
Harry’s assistant Kevin Bond has revealed some injury doubts ahead of the game.
“Younes didn’t train on Wednesday, Gareth and Scotty both had to come out of training with slight muscle injuries,” Bond said.
Given Spurs’ selection policy in the previous round, it’s unlikely that Bale, Parker or Kaboul would have started tomorrow but there may be worries for next Tuesday’s game with Wigan.
There’s no doubt however as to who is in charge,
“Yes, he will be at the match and yes, he will pick the team,” Bond added.
“The fact that the manager has not been here has had very little impact.”
It will therefore be an interesting starting XI in Hertfordshire tomorrow but a familiar face will be in the dugout.
Wormwood Scrubs announce deadline day signing: Harry Redknapp has agreed to join and manage the prison team on a 4 year deal. The terms of the deal have not yet been released but Harry is expected to get three square meals a day. His accountant, Rosie, said “Harry will improve this team and do it in the right way, not by throwing money at it”. Redknapp is believed to have asked for a paltry £160M to be released, for transfers, in order to start the rebuilding process. He is already believed to be studying video footage from Escape to Victory.
A shocked Joe Jordan said “We can all move on now. I knew that Buster was innocent, she is a lovely guy whereas that Rosie was always dodgy and used to piss on my leg”
Ledley King was injured and unavailable for comment.
Just read an interesting article in todays “Pets Weekly” – Buster was definately stitched up by Rosie, I understand he is so upset he is off his pedigree chum and hasnt looked at a Bonio for weeks – Disgraceful.
I too read the Pets Weekly article and believe that there is a definite campaign to tarnish Rosie’s previously unblemished record. Rosie is believed to be upset by Beasley’s phone tapping tactics and has vowed to clear her name. In a statement to the press, Rosie said “I can’t believe that this is happening to me. I am being blamed for something that I couldn’t possibly have done. I have never set foot in Monaco, don’t even have a pet passport and have only ever been as far as the local park. I am not one to bite the hand that feeds me but you are barking up the wrong tree with this one”
Buster declined to comment but is clearly shaken by the ordeal
Buster has just given a revealing interview on radio 4, his description of the police tactics during this investigation leaves some serious questions to be asked – why was busters “dog and bone” hacked by scrupilous reporters?, why did police take and not return his favourite squeaky toy? – in addition Rosies conduct in all this has been nothing short of disgraceful, in covering for Redknapp in this way and implicating Buster as the fall guy, she shown no commitment to her former partner instead prefering the lure of her masters doggy treats in return for financial anonyimity. – Free the Buster one!
In an exclusive interview with the “Chews of the World”, Buster Redknapp has sensationally revealed that ‘Arry and Rosie have been in cahoots for years. Buster allegedly told the reporter that ‘Arry started to favour Rosie after she showed ‘Arry how to chew wasps. The pair grew closer and became inseparable, whilst Buster was left to lick his own testicles. Buster said, “they would often disappear for hours on their ‘special walks’. I always knew that they were planning something and it is of no surprise that it all coming out now. ‘Arry can’t trust her though and I know that she will turn against him sooner or later. She is a real bitch sometimes. I hope that they both get what they deserve”.
Buster was ostracised after an incident where ‘Arry best crayons were chewed beyond recognition, meaning that Rosie had to fill in his tax returns.
A dejected Buster has been seeking solace with Louise but it is putting strain on her marriage to Jamie. A family friend added, “I feel sorry for Buster being caught up in all this, he is completely innocent and I hope that those two get what’s coming to them”.
I understand the “chews of the world” have gained exclusive rights to “Rosies story”. She claims that Buster filled in Harrys tax returns not her and its a dog-gam lie to suggest anything else, she has reportedly said ” Harry has treated me with nothing but kindness, for Buster to besmirch Harrys name in this manner is nothing short of scandulous” she adds “the Illicit relationship Buster has now formed with Louise is really hurting the family, to use Harrys daughter in law and flaunt his loyalty in this manner is really hurtful” – its reported Louise is happy to take in Buster on the grounds it will enable her to get used to what Jamie will look and behave like in around 30 years time.
“Taxworldnow” have obtained quotes attributed to “Mikey” the Chiuaua who claims ” I believe Rosie is firmly behind this dispicable deception toward HMRC” he added “I came across Rosie during a loyaly dog training programme in the isle of dogs at the local youth centre, there was something not right about her and I knew she was false, she was on heat at the time and refused to allow me to sniff her arse but was seriously overfriendly with a Dobermann called Jake – I felt sorry at that point for Buster as it was clear her intentions were not honourable when she was happy to lick Jakes testicles – it said it all really”.
Buster and Louise Redknapp continued to hide away in their luxury chingford mansion and were unavailable for comment while HMRC inquiries continue into the boxers conduct.
More sensational news breaking from the Harry Redknapp trial, alanadebayor, the Redknapp familys “african grey parrot” waded into the fray using his “Twitter”account.
“This has all got seriously out of hand” he tweeted last night, “I could see what was going on between Harry and Rosie, she was very manipulative of both Harry and Buster and whilst Buster did chew Harrys favourite Crayons, Buster was definately put up to it by Rosie, this was so she could get access to Harrys accounts not only to fill in a false tax return, but also to syphon funds into that offshore Monaco account with the aim of Buster being set up as the stooge should it all go wrong”,
He added “I tried to let Sandra know what was going on when they were not around, unfortunately though, as soon as I started talking she would cover my cage with a blanket and turn up the volume on the telly, now sadly for Sandra, it looks like she might be visting Harry in his own cage for the next few years”
A spokesman for the police stated “we took into account all witness statements at the time. When interviewed, alanadebayor the african grey parrot didnt impart this information, he just kept repeating phrases like ” we cant afford his wages” and “Arry is a pretty boy” in addition to shitting incessently into the bottom of his cage.